Forty Years of Zen

new flower bowls, available soon on Lee Wolfe Pottery

I have practiced Zen meditation for 40 years. Perhaps I have been practicing longer, as I recall days as a child watching leaves float on a stream and letting my mind float out of myself into the flow of fresh water, and letting an entire summer day pass in this serene mental vacancy.

Quite paradoxically, I am prone to ranting and swearing over a news story, an opinion I don't like, or how the type is getting smaller I SWEAR IT IS! on every single publication the older I get.

I like to think that the real me is the Zen-ified one, and that the angry raving person is just a reasonable reaction to all those freaking idiots who haven't learned to keep their mouth shut!...but essentially, I feel very at home in myself when I'm raving, and sometimes I even enjoy it, especially with other people who like to get pissed off and make snarky remarks while we are drinking their good wine.

I thought, many years ago, that the anger would leave me entirely one day and I would be left with only perfectly loving feelings and a desire to serve humanity. This has not occurred, so far. Lately, I notice a kind of paradox in everyone. The people I know who are the absolute smartest in some ways are appallingly dumb in others. The kindest people can be mean to themselves.

In case you were wondering, this hasn't the slightest thing to do with flower bowls. These are just the empty vessels my hands shaped while I was thinking about all this.